Falling in Love.......again and again

Is it possible to fall in love again and again? Everyday? With the same guy?
YES it definitely is possible as that is what's happening to me.
I don't know if u noticed but me and my boyfriend had a break a few weeks ago, after many bad times and big fights we had a break(we had 2 ones before)
BUT now we are back together and it feels even better, he changed so much for the better, he really makes an effort, he really works on himself which makes me proud of him and that I am his main inspiration is just WOW.
He is my main inspiration now as well so we both benefit from each others changes.
That is awesome I think.
I never felt so much love for him, and daily I fall more for him.
Our love now feels so much deeper and intense.
We deal so much better now with our own crap and our bad pasts, mental health conditions and issues.
We can now really be there for each other cos we finally accepted that we are worthy and that we deserve all the best.
I became so much stronger due to the whole stress between us, I know now I can live on my own, I can fight alone I don't need him to live my life, BUT also I know my life is so much brighter and better with him in it.
We have a long distance realtionship and yeah it does hurt often that we aren't together in person BUT I try to avoid that thinking, because I realized either way in person or not I have him in my life, if that's the only possible way to have him I will be fine cos I don't want to lose him again and actually I wanna spend the rest of our Lifes together in which way ever is possible.
I am not saying I prefer it this way LOL far from that but if it will be the only possible way I will do it.
He is much more now the man I always wanted, he is amazing , he did so much lately and I still can't believe that he did it partly for me.
I am just amazed by him, and I feel proven about what I always said about him, that he is a good man, that he has a big heart and that I am proud of him.
I love him and I will love him till my very last breath and beyond.
So yeah some of u will say it's stupid to keep this rel. but I don't care cos it's my life, some of u will maybe say it wont work but I don't care either. I mean even my own mother does this kind of badmouthing it and excuses it with saying she is just tired of him hurting me, even though I know she does it more because she just can't stand the fact that I am so much stronger and independant now.
Because I know the right ones will wish me luck, will be happy for me and support me so yeah.
I did also become more independant and I don't care that much about what others say about the things I say and do or even how I look.
It's healthier for me, and I mean in the end it's only important what I think about myelf, and the ones I love think about me.
And if he reads this: Baby? I love you, Ich liebe dich, Je t'aime, Te quiero, Ti amo! <3

My Valentines day :)

Flowers from my honey :)

Yes I got roses from my boyfriend in australia :)
Am I lucky or what?
I am happy about them and even though I am shaking out of sadness and anger(about my mother) I am happy that I got such wonderful flowers.........well the colors of the roses have different meanings and yellow ones aren't good ones LOL but in this case they are cos I do believe he loves me.
Wish u all a good evening/night/morning :)

Valentines Day or not?

Valentines day, actually my second one where I am not Single, still kinda weird :)

Well what can I say? As you all probably know by now I love holidays and celebrating things like that.

BUT I think when u are in a relationship where u truly love each other it shouldn't matter if it is Valentines day or not, you should always show ur other half that u love them.
Tenderness, Love, Romance, Affection, Sensuality, all this is needed and wanted every day not only on one day a year!
I think we all should remember that.
Yes sure why not buy flowers, or a necklace or a stuffed animal, make a candle light dinner or a wellness weekend during the year?
You don't have to wait for 14th february to make something speical for the person you love.
And my opinion to this day is, as long as we don't only use it to pretend we care and love our partner, and show it just once a year it can be a very nice, lovely day.
It's the day of the Lovers it means celebrating our love more then usual, it means really realizing what u have with ur partner.
So relationships, Love means effort u have to make an effort every day of the relationship, and it shouldn't even feel like effort, u know what I mean?
Make ur partner feel special on every day u are with them.
We all know nothing in this world is promised, so let us really enjoy every moment with our other half and make it to a special one as long as we can.
I do love to get flowers and presents, messages and posts on my wall from my boyfriend on this very special day and I don't want him to stop that.
I love Valentines day as I said for me it is a day to celebrate the love even more, and I think love does deserve such a day.
As long as we not ONLY show our love to our partner on this day everything is okay and we can all enjoy it.
Yeah there are ppl who don't like that day but hey u know what? You don't have to celebrate it, but let others do what they want to!
Dont ruin their Valentines days!
And also stop grumbling "Yeah it's just another day where the corporations make money", so what?
That's life, they make money and don't care about the love on this day BUT
isn't it more important that the ppl who celebrate Valentines day and spend money on their partner enjoy it and feel even closer on this day?
That's what it should be about, so if u don't like it, just shut up, u are not forced to celebrate Valentines day.
For all the others,
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY :)

New Poem from today

Appreciate what I have

I appreciate the Life I've got,

you ask me if it's easy? No it's not!

But I learned to live it, beyond my limits,

I am stronger now and also vivid.

Now I dedicate my Life to help and support, cos Life is way too short,

to only suffer and also doubt, cos Love is whats it all about.

Love for myself and for others, bring joy and faith to all the strugglers.

I know my purpose now, and hope to show I am worth this Gift of Life somehow.

I do believe in many things, god, humanity and that I can fly without wings.

I'll live every day as it would be my last, and make everyone the best.

We don't know how long we will be here, so let's be loyal and sincere.

Our whole Life through and all the time, cos to love, heal and help is not a crime!

I know now what does really matter, so let us change the world for the better!

©Audrey Valentine 2014

This man (POEM)

This man

There was this man, he showed me everything,

I did not know anything

but I was willing to reach new shores, but not without fear,

There was this man, whom I loved so much.

I, after all, so much wanted in my life.

There was this day that changed everything

there was this hand that turned.

He broke my heart just like that, I sadly said goodbye.

A nothing, I am for him now.

Nothing, he is for me now,

Nothing except.... Everything!

©2014 Audrey Valentine

True Heros - I want u to meet another two strong women and in my eyes heroes

Songs for him

When we were a couple we sent us songs.....in my case they always expressed how I felt.and well now more than ever these words need to be written down by me.....I still feel all these words for him <3

"......I only wanna make it good, so if I love u a little more than I should,
Please forgive me I don't know what I do....Dont deny me this pain I am going through.......Please forgive me I can't stop loving you....."
-Bryan Adams/Please forgive me-

"...If u leave me now u take away the biggest part of me.......And if u leave me now u take away the very heart of me......"
-Chicago/If u leave me now-

".....How can I love when I am afraid to fall?.....I have died every day waiting for u, darling don't be afraid I have loved u for a thousand years, I love u for a thousand more.....Every breath, every hour has come to this, one step closer......."
-Christina Perri/Thousand years-

"...Long before u came I knew somehow life would bring me you........I love u more than words can say, I love u there's no other way.......For the first time I've come home, I have found my fate.......
-Fady Maloouf/Blessed-

"....I'm not a perfect person, there are many things I wish I didn't do.......That I just want u to know I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new and the reason is YOU...."
-Hoobastank/Reason-

"....I wont give up on us even if the skies gets rough, I am giving u all of my love......"
-Jason Mraz/I wont give up-

"....I wanna feel this way longer than time........I wanna change the world only for u, all the impossible I wanna do.....I wanna kiss ur smile and feel ur pain, I know whats beautiful looking at u, here in a world of lies u are the truth......Everytime you touch me I become a hero....."
-Julio Iglesias & Dolly Parton/When u tell me that u love me-

".....And I wonder if I ever cross ur mind for me it happens all the time.....I'm all alone and I need u now, said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need u now......and I don't know how I can do without, I just need u now..."
-Lady Antebellum/Need you now-

".....Caught up in this moment, caught up in ur smile.......Never opened up to anyone......We don't need to rush this let's just take it slow, just a kiss on ur lips in the moonlight....I don't wanna mess this thing up nor I wanna push too far........"
-Lady Antebellum/Just a kiss-

"......I love how u love me, forever and a day u can trust me, just believe I love how u love me....I love how u love me no matter what will be u can trust me, eternally I love how u love me....."
-Melanie Thornton/I love how u love me-

"...You are my destiny, you are what u are to me, u are my happiness that's what u are.....You are my sweet caress, u share my loneliness, u are my dream come true....."
-Paul Anka/You are my destiny-

"...Nothing u confess could make me love u less.....I'll stand by you, I'll stand by u.......If u may get mad, dont hold it all inside come on and talk to me now, hey what u got to hide I get angry too, well I am a lot like u....when u are standing at the crossroads and don't know which path to choose, let me come along cos even if u are wrong...I'll stand by you...."
-Pretenders/I'll stand by u-

".....Hold, hold me for a while, before the morning takes u away....can u imagine how I'll miss ur touch and ur kiss, short moments of time we have left, to share our love...."
-Rednex/Hold-

"......I wanna stand with u on a mountain, I wanna bath with u in the sea, I wanna lay like this forever, until the sky falls down on me......."
-Savage Garden/Truly Madly Deeply-

"....Once in a lifetime u look in someones eyes, it feels like the world stops turning at once, thats what it felt like for me, I knew right away this days would be, standing together living forever was there in our reach...as love is my witness I swear i'll be with u till the end, nothing can tear this love apart I put my hand upon my heart, this is the promise I make to u, whatever comes we'll see it through.......We both know sorrow we have known heartache......but that brought us closer, it brought us together so that we know the real thing that's why I can say...."
-Westlife/As love is my witness-

"....I wasn't meant to love like this without u, cos when I look at my life how the pieces fall into place, it just wouldn't rhyme without u, when I see how my path seem to end up before ur face, the state of my heart the place where we are was written in the stars...."
-Westlife/Written in the stars-

"....Share my life take me for what I am cos I never change all my colors for u...........I'll never ask for too much just all that u are and everything that u do, I don't really need to look very much further I don't wanna have to go where u don't follow.........Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore stay in my arms if u dare or must I imagine u there, dont walk away from me. I have nothing, nothing, nothing if I don't have u!....U break down my walls with the strength of ur love..."
-Whitney Houston/I have nothing-

"..I know that when u look at me there is so much that u just don't see.........can't u see the hurt in me I feel so all alone, I wanna run to u, I wanna run to u, wont u hold me in ur arms and keep me safe from harm.......But if I come to u, tell me will u stay or will u run away?....."
-Whitney Houston/Run to you-