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Sonntag, 23. Februar 2014

Falling in Love.......again and again

Is it possible to fall in love again and again? Everyday? With the same guy?
YES it definitely is possible as that is what's happening to me.
I don't know if u noticed but me and my boyfriend had a break a few weeks ago, after many bad times and big fights we had a break(we had 2 ones before)
BUT now we are back together and it feels even better, he changed so much for the better, he really makes an effort, he really works on himself which makes me proud of him and that I am his main inspiration is just WOW.
He is my main inspiration now as well so we both benefit from each others changes.
That is awesome I think.
I never felt so much love for him, and daily I fall more for him.
Our love now feels so much deeper and intense.
We deal so much better now with our own crap and our bad pasts, mental health conditions and issues.
We can now really be there for each other cos we finally accepted that we are worthy and that we deserve all the best.
I became so much stronger due to the whole stress between us, I know now I can live on my own, I can fight alone I don't need him to live my life, BUT also I know my life is so much brighter and better with him in it.
We have a long distance realtionship and yeah it does hurt often that we aren't together in person BUT I try to avoid that thinking, because I realized either way in person or not I have him in my life, if that's the only possible way to have him I will be fine cos I don't want to lose him again and actually I wanna spend the rest of our Lifes together in which way ever is possible.
I am not saying I prefer it this way LOL far from that but if it will be the only possible way I will do it.
He is much more now the man I always wanted, he is amazing , he did so much lately and I still can't believe that he did it partly for me.
I am just amazed by him, and I feel proven about what I always said about him, that he is a good man, that he has a big heart and that I am proud of him.
I love him and I will love him till my very last breath and beyond.
So yeah some of u will say it's stupid to keep this rel. but I don't care cos it's my life, some of u will maybe say it wont work but I don't care either. I mean even my own mother does this kind of badmouthing it and excuses it with saying she is just tired of him hurting me, even though I know she does it more because she just can't stand the fact that I am so much stronger and independant now.
Because I know the right ones will wish me luck, will be happy for me and support me so yeah.
I did also become more independant and I don't care that much about what others say about the things I say and do or even how I look.
It's healthier for me, and I mean in the end it's only important what I think about myelf, and the ones I love think about me.
And if he reads this: Baby? I love you, Ich liebe dich, Je t'aime, Te quiero, Ti amo! <3