JUST A FOOL (Video Lyrics) - Christina Aguilera

......................without words.........

Standing up for People with mental health conditions!!!

Okay, i decided to make this post due to my current situation and because i want to help other ppl who suffer from depressions etc.
I do wanna make a post where it will be all about me and my conditions. But this one is for all of you who suffer from mental health conditions.
As we all know this can happen to everyone on the planet but still many ppl just don't think it exists or they just don't wanna see it.
I think we(all of us who have depressions and such or had them) need to support each other and stand up for each other, so the world actullay sees that we exist, that we suffer, that we fight and that we are not less worthy than "healthy" ppl.
We all know there are diseases and conditions that are worse than ours, like cancer, AIDS etc.
We all want that this diseases can be cured one day.
And in my case I do want to support them all as well.
But I do think that mental health conditions aren't that much noticed, many ppl think it's just a fake, and sadly many ppl use those conditions to just hide how lazy they are and yeah fake those things.
BUT I also know there are thousands who suffer from depressions, borderline, panic attacks, domestic violence, sexual abusement etc. and I wont give up to fight for them and with them till the day all the ppl in the world respect them, we are NOT Liars nor Fakers!
WE HAVE PROBLEMS! WE NEED HELP AND SUPPORT!
Also all should know by now, that mental health conditions are not contagious so why treat us like infected ppl?
Guess what I came across alot of ppl with depressions and such and yeah there are good ppl under them as well as bad ones but that's just how it is and how it also is when ppl are "healthy"
Actually I think most of the ppl who at least suffered once from such a condition are stronger and more helpful and understanding then those who never experienced such things.
I dont wanna judge anyone, I don't say every "healthy" person is mean.
I just think we, the ones with problems, need to be respected and treated like human beings, because we are!
I think I am gonna do some more posts like that and hope the word will be spread so that one day we don't have to be ashamed of telling others we have depressions, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks etc.
THE WORLD NEEDS TO WAKE UP AND REALLY SEE THINGS! Not just pretend to see them!
P.S: I decide to call US AtoZ-FIGHTERS! you wanna know why? cos there are so many of us with different conditions from A-Z sooo :)

Suffering from Love........

"........I' d hope u see my face and that u be reminded that for me it isn't over........."
-Adele/Someone like you-


".....I never wanna see u unhappy, I thought u want the same for me....."
-A fine frenzy/Almost Lover-


"...Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind. Where do I go?...You were my first love, you were my true love. From the first kisses to the very last rose....Never look back we said, how was I to know I'd miss u so....."
-Britney Spears/From the bottom of my broken heart-


"....You've changed my life completely, I am touched by your love, even if I never see you again...."
-WET WET WET/if i never see you again-

."....All the things that we've been through, you should understand me like I understand you........What good is a love affair, when u can't see eye to eye......If you don't know me by now, you will never never know me...."
-Simply Red/If you dont know me by now-

"...But I dont wanna give up yet because.....Maybe u could stay a bit longer, I could try a bit harder, we could make this work.....But maybe we should stop pretending, both of us are hurting, maybe it's time to go...."
-Emeli Sande/Maybe-

."...Lately it seems the distance between us is growing too wide, I'm so afraid that u sayin its over, it's the last thing that I wanna hear, but if ur heart's not in it for real, please don't try to fake what u don't feel.....Anything u ask of my I'd do but I wont ask u to stay, I'd rather walk away if ur heart's not in it...."
-Westlife/If ur hearts not in it-

Sarah McLachlan - Angel

Giving everything, but being nothing?

Giving everything for others, going through everything for them and with them.
Support and encourage them as good as you can and what do I get?
What did I ever get for being there for ppl? Nothing! It's not that when u help others u should expect something in return because then it would be just a selfish thing.
But being always the one who ends up hurting and lonely?
Is that fair? Life isn't fair, I definitely know that........But being always the ass for everyone?
Being called selfish etc.?
That's just crap and I am soooooooo tired of it.
It feels like I have no energy left, no strength.
I just have to accept the fact that in the end it's just me, without any kind of support or love.
It's sad and scary but I just don't wanna betray myself any longer with thinking someone could ever notice and appreciate what I do. It's irony though...my life due to my mental health was always dependant to someone, whether I wanted it or not..I  always just wanted to be truly loved and accepted for who I am....and in the end I am the one always fighting, I am the one always loving and supporting.....I know it's just me in this world, I have no one...And even though I know this, it's so damn hard to accept and move on......especially now that I have no idea where to get new strength from..I am tired of this life only full of struggles and pain.
I do know there are ppl who have way more to deal with but u know what?
I just don't wanna hear it.
I am a caring, helping, person but why the hell no one cares for me?
What the hell did I do to deserve constantly being treated like shit by ppl I love and whom I want to love me as well?
Well everyone thinks they can treat me they way they want, but now that's over.
I just can't do it any longer.
I do know now I gotta fight on my own and for myself only.
I do have my limits and believe me I went further than them but one day it's just well there is no way further.
It's the end, the end of my strength.
I experienced nothing but pain in this world and in the end when I thought I finally found someone it again hurt me but this time it, well, simply broke me......Maybe some ppl will say this sounds like I am a martyr or something well guess what? I don't give a damn, this is my heart speaking you know? Every person has limits and mine have been reached years ago.....

Me on FLICKR

https://www.flickr.com/photos/109226153@N05/ 

Look at the pictures, all taken by me :)

The difference between Daydreams

So much happened and still happens.
Sadly I never find the time to write here LOL. So busy.
But when I have ideas for blogposts I write them down and will definitely post them one day :)
So now to the subject DAYDREAMS I think we all have or had them.
So here is the difference between the two kinds of Daydreams :)
The first kind of Daydreams are the ones where we know we will never be able to achieve/experience them like me dreaming about having a big house with my own library, TV room and pool, I mean sure I could win in the lottery(even though I dont play it :) or I can be lucky and become famous as writer but let's be honest the chance that this happens is not that high so I know if there is no wonder happening I will never have that.
But I love to have these kind of daydreams I mean it's so cool to dive into them and be there and be happy.
I know they are not real and will never be but it's nice to know I can dream and set it as my impossible goal to reach :)
The second kind of Daydreams are those we could achieve/experience well not without a bit luck as well cos as we all know every day could be our last.
But you know what I mean.
For example one of my daydreams of that category: Me having a child :)
So I guess its obvious where the differences are :)
Dream big! ( it can never be wrong)