Giving everything for others, going through everything for them and with them.
Support and encourage them as good as you can and what do I get?
What did I ever get for being there for ppl? Nothing! It's not that when u help others u should expect something in return because then it would be just a selfish thing.
But being always the one who ends up hurting and lonely?
Is that fair? Life isn't fair, I definitely know that........But being always the ass for everyone?
Being called selfish etc.?
That's just crap and I am soooooooo tired of it.
It feels like I have no energy left, no strength.
I just have to accept the fact that in the end it's just me, without any kind of support or love.
It's sad and scary but I just don't wanna betray myself any longer with thinking someone could ever notice and appreciate what I do. It's irony though...my life due to my mental health was always dependant to someone, whether I wanted it or not..I always just wanted to be truly loved and accepted for who I am....and in the end I am the one always fighting, I am the one always loving and supporting.....I know it's just me in this world, I have no one...And even though I know this, it's so damn hard to accept and move on......especially now that I have no idea where to get new strength from..I am tired of this life only full of struggles and pain.
I do know there are ppl who have way more to deal with but u know what?
I just don't wanna hear it.
I am a caring, helping, person but why the hell no one cares for me?
What the hell did I do to deserve constantly being treated like shit by ppl I love and whom I want to love me as well?
Well everyone thinks they can treat me they way they want, but now that's over.
I just can't do it any longer.
I do know now I gotta fight on my own and for myself only.
I do have my limits and believe me I went further than them but one day it's just well there is no way further.
It's the end, the end of my strength.
I experienced nothing but pain in this world and in the end when I thought I finally found someone it again hurt me but this time it, well, simply broke me......Maybe some ppl will say this sounds like I am a martyr or something well guess what? I don't give a damn, this is my heart speaking you know? Every person has limits and mine have been reached years ago.....